Gems for the Game of Dating
Dating shouldn’t be a game, but let’s be honest. In 2018 it’s all game no rules! I partnered with my homegirl Chelsea of Empower Palette to bring you ladies some of our dating gems which are right on time for Valentine's Day.
Who are YOU & what makes YOU happy?
If you are single, it is so easy to admire Instagram couples and think #RelationshipGoals. What you may not think about is what those two people are like outside of that one photo or those moments. You just want the company of someone you can call your own.
In order to get there the RIGHT way, you have to understand yourself. We are living in a time where dating holds new values if any at all. I hear so many women say they’d be happier if they had a man. That’s NOT true. YOU are the key to your own happiness all day and every day. Get to know you before you seek happiness in the arms of another person.
I have been single for about 4 years. At first, I was itching to get back into a relationship. However, date after date I kept coming up short. It took me some time to realize I was searching for things in a person blindly. Meaning I honestly didn’t know what I was looking for in a partner.
Today I trust my instincts. I will find that person or they’ll find me. I won’t force it. I will allow it to flow to me. At the right moment, I will feel it. If you’re single or in a relationship, it’s always good to write down things you want and don’t want in a relationship. Remind yourself of who you are and what you stand for. Don’t sacrifice your authenticity or desires JUST for a relationship. This isn’t the year of settling! Make me proud!
Sex on the first date.
Your date is going well, you’re feeling him, he is feeling you and it’s time to end the date. Do you invite him in or go home with him?
Usually, once you give up the booty the guy ends up fading to black. He already sampled the goods. Sex shouldn't be shared at the drop of a dime. I know sometimes it’s hard to fight off temptation, but it’s worth it.
The next time you meet a guy see how much he is willing to do for you BEFORE sex. Watch how eager he will be to make you happy because he wants to be “rewarded”. There is no written rule about when you should and shouldn’t have sex. It depends on your level of comfort with the person.
Don’t ever let a man make you feel obligated to have sex with him no matter what he has done for you. Why? Your pussy is priceless and don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.
To pay or not to pay.
We love being spoiled and feeling appreciated. Since the beginning of time men have been taught to pay for dates. I personally don’t mind grabbing my wallet if a man has taken me out a time or two and doesn’t complain. I have always been a person who does as others do for me. One sure fire way to WOW a guy you’re feeling is to treat him to something nice. Don’t always leave date planning in the hands of your man or always expect him to pay.
If he is a keeper, spoil him as much as he does you. If you’re single and dating this rule still applies. There is nothing wrong with taking a man out or treating him to something special. This shows you care. I think small gestures like this separate you from superficial women.
My ultimate gems.
I'm letting you in on one of my most valued gems. I honestly should charge for this one! Cleopatra wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the Nile. She was actually mediocre; HOWEVER, all the men wanted her.
Do you know why?
She created an illusion based on what men were missing. Where all other women lacked imagination, spunk, and charisma, Cleopatra had that shit bagged up and ready to serve. That’s what made men line up for her. Dinner and a movie are nice, BUT surprising a man with something new and exciting will keep him bragging about you.
Apply your personality and spontaneity to all areas of a relationship/dating. If you're involved with this person sexually, keep things fresh in the bedroom. Wear a new wig and role play. Show dominance one night and submit another night. He’ll never know what’s next. Don’t fall into a routine because that’s when they get bored.
This second gem came from the greatest woman alive. Erykah Badu. She said her secret to getting to men is to listen! No matter what they say, men love to talk about themselves. Listen to the things a man dotes on. Make mental notes or physical notes.
Find common interests and wow him with your knowledge on the subject.
Finding self-love in a date.
The preparation before the date is a form of self-love. Every woman sets aside a certain amount of time before her date to get ready. I believe relaxing in a tub with your favorite soak, lit candles, and your favorite R&B playlist help you set the mood for the date. You get a confidence boost.
For example, when you freshly shave your legs you feel like you want the world to run their hands up and down them to see how soft. It’s the same feeling once you’ve relaxed and pampered yourself. Do your makeup, dance around and so forth to relax and gain extra confidence. If you feel sexy, you will exude that.
For that reason alone, I highly suggest pampering yourself before a date. You’ll end up walking into a restaurant exuding the utmost confidence. Every man will glance at you. You being the goddess you are, will politely smile and keep it moving.
Getting to know him.
On a date, the man will show you his best side. Switch it up and ask him things about his childhood or his opinion of women. This part of the game is about finding out the true nature of your date.
Wasted time is so 2017! This year we aren’t waiting to find out he is crazy. Or maybe he sees women as less superior beings. THIS year we are addressing things head. We are getting the answers we need to make important decisions.
Don’t be afraid of asking a man how he truly feels about life. A man will not hesitate to ask you for sex, so in my world all is fair. Asking questions helps eliminate the glitter that isn't gold. Don’t fall for that. What you need to see is a diamond while it’s still in the rough.
About the Author:
Brittany is relaunching her blog this month!